MovieChat Forums > General Discussion > Did you hear the joke about the guy who ...

Did you hear the joke about the guy who couldn't spell?


He tried paying for sex in a warehouse.

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Ha ha.



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Bad spellers, untie! :D

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I even misspel mispell.

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I can't even spell right...it's too early for this.

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Kazak, your post is the reason why I think comments here should get "likes".

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I don't get it.😐

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[spoiler]Warehouse is two letters from whorehouse. I know, whorehouse is kind of an outdated term, but it is an old joke.[/spoiler]

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Me neitherπŸ€”

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Oh! Okay I get it now. Cute joke.

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How many prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

[spoiler]Trick question -- You can't fit even one prostitute in a lightbulb.[/spoiler]

=)

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ha, this one did take me a second to process!

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I do love silly/dirty jokes that still make ya think.

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Three,i thinkπŸ˜‰

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two

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How many alcoholics does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

[spoiler]Two - One to hold the bulb and one to drink until the room spins.[/spoiler]

Apologies to anyone offended by alcoholic jokes

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LOL, froggy!

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the light bulb has to want to change.


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good 'un

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Did you hear about the truck driver who swerved to avoid a child and fell out of bed ?

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See, that's why the pull-out method is a bad idea.

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Guy joins the Foreign Legion and asks what to do since there are no women. His CO says 6 days a week you can stick your thing in that barrel and do whatever you want. Guy asks what about the other day?

"That's your day in the barrel."

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I like!

That reminds me of this old one:

A man dies and finds himself in Hell. He is looking around, but it doesn't look bad at all. The other souls seem to be enjoying themselves, some waving hello at him.

Satan walks up and shakes his hand. "Hi, welcome to Hell! Don't believe what you've been told, we have a lot of fun down here."

The man sighs with relief. "That sounds great. What kind of stuff goes on?"

The devil smiles. "Well, do you enjoy sexy, slutty women and pornography?"

The man shrugs and nods yes.

"Well you're gonna love Mondays," Satan bellows. "Do you like drinking or doing any drugs you want, without any hangovers or consequences?"

"YEAH!" the man shouts.

"Then you'll love Tuesdays too, it's Happy Hour all day long. Now, do you enjoy homosexual sex?"

The man gets a disgusted look on his face. "No way."

Satan shakes his head. "Oh, damn. Well you're gonna hate Wednesdays..."

=)

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Moral of the story: Be gay.

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πŸŽ†

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LOL! Stop it! You're killing me over here!


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πŸŽ†

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Groan. 😣 I heard that one back when dirt was young.

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πŸŽ†

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LOL! Knocked that one out of the park!


😁 😁 😁 😁

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πŸŽ†

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Whew! A shoestring catch!

I bought some batteries, but they weren't included. So I had to buy them again.


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πŸŽ†

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And you're stuck with me, godewey.

I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.


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πŸŽ†

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Yeah, sucks to be all of you.

I xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra Xerox machine.


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He's your Frankenstein monster, dewey. Contain him.

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πŸŽ†

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LOL!! Knocked it out of the park!


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Apparently the guy who invented auto-correct has died... His funfair is next Monkey.May he restaurant in pieces.

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That is funky. I really in joined it.


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rally funy

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Did you hear the joke about the guy who couldn't smell?

I didn't think so. Nobody nose it.

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I can't bare your jokes

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What' another word for "thesaurus"?


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I didn't get it at first

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Last week I went to a furniture store to buy a decaffeinated coffee table. They couldn't help me.


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That reminds me: Did you hear about the cow that got an abortion?

She was de-calf-einated.

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the Vatican opened an abortion clinic - but there is a one year waiting period.

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Oh humor! RRrrrrrrrrrrrr!!

I put instant coffee in the microwave, and almost went back in time.


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How many ears does Mr. Spock have?

Three: A left ear, a right ear, and a final frontier.

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LOL!

I have a switch in my house that doesn't do anything. Every once in a while I turn it on and off.
One day I got a call from a woman in France who said "Cut it out."


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LOL!! 😁 😁 😁

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LOL!! 😁 😁 😁

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.

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That one took me a minute... I approve!

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Thanks.

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.


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[deleted]

please tell

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And spoil the surpriseπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚,i'll let you to quess whyπŸ˜‰

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the punch line is........

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I delete it...shouldn't wrote that...anyway here's another one...

Three bats were resting in cave.On some point one of them flew away...after an hour he returns,barely flying and bloody.He set near the others and tell them:
"Brothers,do you see that that bunch of sheeps in the distance?"
"Yeah,why?"
"I eat them!"
The others congratulate him and amazed by his achievement...
After a few minutes,the second bat flew...after an hour he also returned barely flying and bloody.
"Brothers,do you see that bunch of cows in the distance?"
"Yeah,why?"
"I eat them"
"How did you do that?",said the others,amazed by his achievement.
After a few moments,the third flew away...after a while,he also returned,barely flying and bloody.He joined the others,but he was quite.Pressed by the others to say what happened,he said:
"Brothers,do you see that belfry in the distance?"
"Yeah,why?
"I didn't saw it..."

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ha !! the joke is so bad its actually funny

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Why,thank youπŸ˜‰

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Good one πŸ˜‚

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Here's another one...

A mayor of a random village called the residents on a meeting...
"I'm going to teach you what to do,if you encounter an alien",he says to the residents
"The aliens can be recognized by their big eyes and they are green.If you'll meet one of them,don't make sudden moves and be polite."
George,one of the villagers thinks"i don't care about this...aliens" and he goes to work the field....
Some time passes and he's mowing the grass...near that field,it was a small forest...as he's keep aproaching that forest,he noticed someone there...curiosly he approached that person...and did he saw...a creature with big eyes and green face.
"Hello",he said to the alien..."i am george.I'm mowing the grass."
Then,the stranger said,grumping:
"Hi.I'm Michael.I'm taking a s...t

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When I was a kid, we had a quicksand box in the backyard. I was an only child...eventually.


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I don't get it

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Think about it, hownos.



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"He's dead."

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