Did you hear the joke about the guy who couldn't spell?
He tried paying for sex in a warehouse.
shareHe tried paying for sex in a warehouse.
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Ha ha.
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I don't get it.π
share[spoiler]Warehouse is two letters from whorehouse. I know, whorehouse is kind of an outdated term, but it is an old joke.[/spoiler]
shareMe neitherπ€
shareOh! Okay I get it now. Cute joke.
shareHow many prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
[spoiler]Trick question -- You can't fit even one prostitute in a lightbulb.[/spoiler]
=)
LOL, froggy!
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but the light bulb has to want to change.
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good 'un
shareGuy joins the Foreign Legion and asks what to do since there are no women. His CO says 6 days a week you can stick your thing in that barrel and do whatever you want. Guy asks what about the other day?
"That's your day in the barrel."
I like!
That reminds me of this old one:
A man dies and finds himself in Hell. He is looking around, but it doesn't look bad at all. The other souls seem to be enjoying themselves, some waving hello at him.
Satan walks up and shakes his hand. "Hi, welcome to Hell! Don't believe what you've been told, we have a lot of fun down here."
The man sighs with relief. "That sounds great. What kind of stuff goes on?"
The devil smiles. "Well, do you enjoy sexy, slutty women and pornography?"
The man shrugs and nods yes.
"Well you're gonna love Mondays," Satan bellows. "Do you like drinking or doing any drugs you want, without any hangovers or consequences?"
"YEAH!" the man shouts.
"Then you'll love Tuesdays too, it's Happy Hour all day long. Now, do you enjoy homosexual sex?"
The man gets a disgusted look on his face. "No way."
Satan shakes his head. "Oh, damn. Well you're gonna hate Wednesdays..."
=)
Moral of the story: Be gay.
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LOL! Stop it! You're killing me over here!
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Groan. π£ I heard that one back when dirt was young.
rally funy
shareDid you hear the joke about the guy who couldn't smell?
I didn't think so. Nobody nose it.
I can't bare your jokes
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What' another word for "thesaurus"?
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I didn't get it at first
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Last week I went to a furniture store to buy a decaffeinated coffee table. They couldn't help me.
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LOL!! π π π
LOL!! π π π
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
That one took me a minute... I approve!
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Thanks.
I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
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the punch line is........
shareI delete it...shouldn't wrote that...anyway here's another one...
Three bats were resting in cave.On some point one of them flew away...after an hour he returns,barely flying and bloody.He set near the others and tell them:
"Brothers,do you see that that bunch of sheeps in the distance?"
"Yeah,why?"
"I eat them!"
The others congratulate him and amazed by his achievement...
After a few minutes,the second bat flew...after an hour he also returned barely flying and bloody.
"Brothers,do you see that bunch of cows in the distance?"
"Yeah,why?"
"I eat them"
"How did you do that?",said the others,amazed by his achievement.
After a few moments,the third flew away...after a while,he also returned,barely flying and bloody.He joined the others,but he was quite.Pressed by the others to say what happened,he said:
"Brothers,do you see that belfry in the distance?"
"Yeah,why?
"I didn't saw it..."
Good one π
shareHere's another one...
A mayor of a random village called the residents on a meeting...
"I'm going to teach you what to do,if you encounter an alien",he says to the residents
"The aliens can be recognized by their big eyes and they are green.If you'll meet one of them,don't make sudden moves and be polite."
George,one of the villagers thinks"i don't care about this...aliens" and he goes to work the field....
Some time passes and he's mowing the grass...near that field,it was a small forest...as he's keep aproaching that forest,he noticed someone there...curiosly he approached that person...and did he saw...a creature with big eyes and green face.
"Hello",he said to the alien..."i am george.I'm mowing the grass."
Then,the stranger said,grumping:
"Hi.I'm Michael.I'm taking a s...t
When I was a kid, we had a quicksand box in the backyard. I was an only child...eventually.
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